Author’s note: This is my poetry journal, essentially my diary. I wrote my diary in this manner so that deciphering it would be near impossible. Although I implement various writing styles, the overall theme is the same throughout each act.

Act I: The diary of thoughts

Forever You

A note from the author: This is my final entry for this diary. Farewell, and may the Lord be with you always.

It was always you that made me smile.

It was always you, who made me soar above the clouds.

Whenever I felt a dream, I thought of you.

Suddenly you fall away, and silence has taken me away from you.

Suddenly you shun me, and break my heart into a million pieces.

Whenever I felt pain, I thought of you.

I never took my eyes away from you.

I never cared for someone as much as you.

Whenever I felt desire, I thought of you.

You changed my world, and in an instant you took that away.

You will never know the tears, the fears, the shame I have on myself.

And I still gaze into your eyes, one year later.

And still I wonder, do you know I exist?

Do you truly care for me at all, or am I living in a ghost?

Are the tears I shed for you, worth it all in the end?

I still gaze into the mirror and see your face.

I know you exist, always in my heart.

And I know after all of this, I am still alone.

So farewell and good-bye.

For your skies are colored red, blue, orange, purple, and dazzled with white.

And my skies are a permanent shade of black.

Bye.

The Lilliebees

The lilliebees march along,

through the forest with their song.

Wreaking havoc along the way,

showing that they're here to stay.

Quiet is their march of pain,

like the sound of the insane.

But the lilliebees are real nice,

they are not, the small lice.

They have beauty, deep inside,

but that color is to be confide.

But they are nice to me,

for its their colors that I truly see.

To my love

I think you are sweet,

I think you are nice.

I think you are cuter,

than the pet shop mice.

I want to see you now,

I want to see you soon.

In the rainy days,

And under the bright moon.

I wish I was cute,

I wish I had might.

But I have neither,

So I'm not a beautiful sight...

From the heart I know

From the heart I know,

I let the feelings flow.

Try to stop me,

And I will go.

Lining the paths of finity,

Setting the boundaries of liberty.

I cannot free myself from the bounded net,

Like the moon chasing the sunset.

But continue on the flow,

And I shall row,

For it's from the heart I know.

My Stand

This is a statement, not really a poem

There are somethings I can believe in.

Other times, the fog has ways of distorting my view.

As a mariner, I traveled only a part of my life, searching for adventure.

As a lighthouse keeper, I have only done my best to keep the ships from crashing.

As a pirate, I have plundered the seven seas, never looking back to the havoc that I made before.

As a man, I have done everything thus far, but I have yet to find what I am looking for.

Ultimately, I will find my home back in the briney deeps of the endless sea.

Perhaps it will come to me a dream or a vision in the future.

Nonetheless, it will come to me.

And when it does,

I will...

know

Silence

Silence, is all I hear.

It's all I feel,

It's all I know of.

Entering the room the sound pierces me.

Lying on the floor, half-dead, I can't get up anymore.

And I ask, "leave me alone,"

For I have been silenced.

The words that I write,

Are just words.

The songs that I listen to,

Are just music.

I can't really care,

If the things I hear is just air.

Image by image,

Nothing more than a sign.

A sign of what life once was,

But never will be again.

Flight

Too long do I wait,

for a star to fall.

From heaven above,

I wait for that call.

Can it stay?

Will it stay?

Should it stay?

Remember fire from before,

And remember the ice in time.

Stand tall,

risk it all.

But remember, I will sail on the songs of your love,

and into your shoulders I will fall.

Youna!

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

Fragrance is sweet,

And Youna is too.

Clouds are majestic,

The seas are true.

But things of the earth,

Cannot compare to you.

Hyun Jung

I write to you, my princess from above,

watching from a lighthouse tower.

Your voice comes to me like a dove,

your sight more beautiful than a flower.

Cooler than the sea breeze,

yet as warm as the sunrise.

You bring me to my knees,

as I gaze into your eyes.

I wait on the shores hoping you will return,

every moment like summer night's dreams.

I cannot feel the sun burn,

for my pain veiled by you it seems.

I will always wait, by the sea,

I will always wait, for eternity.

Una Oda

Yo sueno con ella, mi melodioso voz,

Ella toca su melodia, y yo sigo consigo.

Conociendo, este yo conduzco en las aguas desconocido,

Yo continuo en una senda, ojala que mi Dio me vayan a guardar.

True Love?

Love me for me, not what I can be.

Love me for me, and the words that I speak.

Love me for me, and the beauties I see.

Love me for me, and the God that I seek.

And I will love you, for all eternity.

Another, please.

"No more blocks please!" said the prisoner.

"Bow down to me!" said the Guard.

"Never."

"Another block on him then."

"Yes sir." Said prisoner 7601

"The pain!"

"Will you bow to me?"

"Never."

"Then you get another."

......

"Sir, he's not moving."

The Missing Link

Always short of majesty,

Not enough to realize the potential.

Running in the circles and never stopping to look,

Passing by the whispers, the fog of denial clouding me.

I cannot be your dream, I cannot be your desire,

I want to be your everything, I want to be your fire.

But love is love, and I am a chair,

Alas this poor broken heart shattered by the sound of your voice.

Field of dreams

To you my friends, we will find our peace in heaven's light...

Break of dawn, that first morning light,

We open our eyes, to that wonderful sight.

I smile and walk out into the field,

Trying to see past that great green shield.

Alas it is too hard, the stalks are too thick,

I unsheathe out my weapon, this great big stick.

I push out the crowds of big corn stalks,

But it is no use, for they are as hard as rocks.

I look back but my path is now gone,

I can only rely on the light, like a helpless pawn.

I know I am in trouble, if what I only do is roam,

But I know with faith, I shall find again my home.

So continue to walk, never give up hope,

We will find our destiny, together, this time.

Lost in you

In all that I say, in all that I do,

I cannot find hope in what I seek.

Forever I long but the dream is shattered,

I fall on my knees, ever so weak.

But in you I find joy, in you I find life,

Yet you are so far, where I cannot reach.

I continue to hope, I continue to seek,

Then I return to reality, and all I do is weep.

Stardust

To my ever faithful star, for you know who you are...

I stand alone, in a world of hate,

I turn to look toward my book of fate.

I look toward the north, the Polar star, ever constant, ever faithful.

I look toward the south, Andromeda, fairest one of all.

I look toward the east, Orion's mighty fall.

I look toward the west, Sirius, the dog to which I call.

All around do the stars shine, guiding me on a straightward line.

Beauty and grace are with thee as always,

But I stand alone, gazing from a distance, wishing you were mine...

Lie

Shadows all around you, carrying you to where ever you need to be,

They take you there, disappear, and you are left

For dead.

Mobius

Where does the roads meet?

When do I feel defeat?

Searching for that empty hope,

Clinging onto that golden rope.

I cry out, and nobody hears,

Rather they stay and talk with their peers.

I stand alone, mocking their actions,

Looking at them, following the tractions.

Not knowing along, I hate myself more,

Finding the evil, straight to the core.

I seek the fire upon the sword,

But through it all, I never ask "Lord..."

Out of rage I ask,

Where do the lilies grow?

Of Fairfield bay, in solemn gray.

An ode to Starcraft

Fight the resistance and light the fires,

Your power is greater, your resources larger,

But I have destiny on my side,

And I will serve you my sire,

Ready for battle, my life is for Aiur!

A poem for you, Hyun Jung

My memory is weak, and I always fall short.

I sometimes can't tell why I blunder.

Perhaps it's a cold winter, or maybe a blistering summer.

But when spring flowers bloom and the ice melts away,

I will remember you.

To you, my love

Seasons pass and a world turns upon itself,

But I will forever wait for your enduring love.

Let me open the door of possibility,

Let me hold you while the fear shrouds you here.

Let's be together... forever...

Autumn skies

Clouds roll in and the gold colored wind sweeps by,

Kites of blue, red, and white dazzle the dim skies above.

The trees change colors amidst the clockwork of the heavens,

The stillness of the earth is rocked by...

Children.

Sunset, with a smile

Some say hello,

Others say good-bye.

I say hi with a smile,

Even though I lie.

A psalm of sight

Do I wish life ends?

Of course, but the seas roll in, and then it rolls out.

Gentle waves of emotions spoken by the roars of the tides,

I can't face another day of the unending pain that fires like lightning from that red sky.

The justice I seek is not of compassion and of love but an unending struggle of hatred and desire,

I scream, I pray, I lift my love to You, Lord, so that this hatred may fade into the darkness I once sought for... fought for, and died for to be in

Your eyes.

The less

I walk among the path of the meek,

I am lower than any of them.

I wish I could be them,

I see and weep.

I follow,

I gaze.

I die.

-None-

Let me cry,

let me cry.

Let me sing the lullabies of dead dreams,

of dead dreams.

Elemental Lyre

Mud... fire... ice... rock...

The salt I feel from the work of God,

The hardships we endure are grains,

So never give up, no need to, for we are the sheep

And he is the shepherd.

Deliverance

Deliver us Lord! Where are the miracles I ask for!

Lord, I shroud myself in these worldly desires,

Unveil my eyes, to the dawn of your spirit,

Strip me of my chains, so that I may forever walk in your light.

Deliver us from the fears that quiet our mouths, and close our eyes,

Never again shall I feel the loneliness I lived for so long.

Love

Joyous, the happiness rushes me like the sea,

The waves flooding me, ever stronger.

I cannot stand now, I must sing out now,

The fire in me, will set it all free.

The fear has subsided, the ice has receded,

I shall never return to the...

Time

Times have changed, I have not.

What once was, now is.

What will ever be, forever was.

Continually distorted, continually confided,

For I have found what the halls of lights have done to me,

And I wear a robe of mirrors.

Lantern

I run on a maze of dreams,

Searching for the every way out.

The pipe I follow carries me through heaven's gate,

And dance through the straits of death.

Will I ever find what I'm looking for?

Finale

Up the flight of stairs and through the planes of infinity,

Farther I climb up the ladder.

"The air is so clear!" I yell,

I hear the clock strike 12, for midnight comes.

I look down and nothing there,

The clock strikes 1 and daylight is summoned.

Finally I open my eyes and see...

Act II: Trebled Inspiration

A song to my heart

Once upon a weary time,

a shining light was brightly mine.

Away it went and never again,

shared with me and my own blue pen.

But one day a melody I heard,

striking my heart and enveloping the word.

Carefree do the songs flow out,

I want to sing to you, always to your heart.

A Wind and a Feather

A wind and the weather,

A song and a feather.

Life is too short for the lovers,

and too long for the oppressed.

A word to careless,

the sound of the confessed.

Mesmorizing to the mind,

shadowing the bind.

The love I lost,

in you that I find.

Through the looking glass

Where am I going?

I do not know.

Destiny shows, it shall prevail.

Death around the corner,

life in its grip.

Inconceivable to me,

for I let it slip.

Through the looking glass I see,

a mirror image of me.

I shall let my mind run,

and let my feelings be.

A twist of fate?

This one's to a friend of mine (if you can't guess it's dear old Youna)

It's a twist of fate that I arrived right here.

Strange events, lead me to you.

Often not I really don't care,

But I guess you forced me to talk to you.

I thought it was a twist of fate,

that I ended up in this here place.

I was wrong, and you showed me there's something better,

that surprises can open my eyes to a better tommorow.

That joy will prevail, and hidden is the sorrow.

Echoes of the winter

Winter approaches the stillness of the air,

Falling dreams take away all my care.

Wearing down do the voices tell me away,

Shallow echoes quiet the words I say.

But the trees always seem to harrow the fear,

Of failing dreams upon the voice that is near.

But your voice that's near is all that I care,

Share with me your love, and your complexion that is fair.

And finally do the fears tear away the echoes,

What my voice could never say…

…that I love you.

Dreams

Dream upon the dreams,

Memories in my mind,

Flowing upon the breeze,

Keeping dreams that I find.

Hyun Jung, you keep my dreams alive,

When the sound of sadness prevail,

The stars shine through the sky,

The rhythm of hope goes on without fail.

A prelude to the summer,

Is what I feel with you.

Night feels like daytime,

And red is never blue.

The rain that once clouded me,

Shrouded the spirit of my sight,

Forests of dark skies,

Shall disappear forever with your light.

Requiem of the Fall

Summer, winter, shadows fall.

Spring and autumn late for their call.

Apples fall and serpents hide,

Shallow minds to which had lied.

Earth to sky, bleak stories above.

Clouds to eyes, another sad story of love.

Play your song, dear pianist, before the fall.

Before I finally lose it all.

Endless Hope

I open a door and death do I see,

Looks like I died, so let's let it be.

When the world was round, it was all the more flat,

Thought it that way till I fell off the edge.

Began with a love, like a voice from above.

Downfall as it came, like downpouring rain.

Kill my lack of hope, before I see another day.

Before the dreams that flutter away, fall back into the month of May.

Before the embers kindle the flittering fires of the sun's magnificent ray.

Before I find out that innocence is to perish.

My own lofty desires will die with myself,

End it now.

Painted flower

What a wondrous scent that fills the air,

like a nice blue rose that is so rare.

It sails my cares away so fine,

so I smell it once more, for it will be mine.

What a beautiful scene that should sparkle my eyes,

maginificent petals that could shower my demise.

A moment in time, captured in its everclear color,

taking away the syndromes that make my life duller.

Strange how this flower is just a painting,

I could just imagine its power,

and leave me fainting.

Dancing with me, for the days of my life,

taking the cares that should cause all my strife.

But no, I am so wrong, because this picture is real.

Because I know that this picture,

is you.

Invisible denial

i was late for a date, but what can i say. i'm too suave so i'll write you in may. and it's ok, because of what i say. until i lie, and

then it's time for me to die. shadow seperated and light drawn to me too sweet a lifeless dream can be. to you to me of sparkling

eyes and dreamfilled nights. of you dancing and me prancing and of me holding your hand.

Dear Arthur,

Where oh where has my Arthur fallen?

To Avalon's shadows and destiny's hand.

To what avail shall this destiny partake of me?

To Avalon's shadows and destiny's hand.

What say you sleepy hollow, of chivalry, of valor?

None shall find me, for I hide under the shadow of Arthur's armor.

Take hold of Excalibur, draw nigh, and find your queen.

Guinivere was not the one, for Lancelot holds her now and forever.

Demon! Liar! She is my queen, and I am her husband.

Find your love, but beware, for under the shadow of your armor lies I, death.

Fall with me, sweet Arthur, for the truth lies in what I say.

I am your one and true love, and now it's time for death to kiss it's final breath to you.

And to Avalon's shadow will destiny deliver you, youngmin.

The Orangi

What a wonderful day that I had,

An orangi I met, and now I'm not sad.

Can she make my trouble fly away?

I hope so, cause I had to wait all day.

But will she want to talk to me?

Will she just run away and flee?

Am I too ugly, a hideous sight to see?

I don't know, and I don't care cause my friendship will always be.

The Love Letter

This is to my sunshine!

Dear Love

…For all the world offers, I only see you…

do you remember the first time we met?

It flashes between my mind and your eyes

and I held it with our hands,

our twinkling of paradise

…I love you more than the stars in the sky…

Let’s fly away together,

you and I

To our own little isle upon the mists of Avalon

…Who needs them, they can’t judge our love…

Wash away my rain and shine me a little light,

sweep them away

…of shattered dreams…

…of false happiness…

…of life without you…

I want to hold you in my arms once again

to know the warmth of your hands,

and of your eyes and your lips

…will you take me as your companion through eternity…

I will wait for you until the very end,

I’m always thinking of you,

now and forever

Don’t let them kill me,

I’m scared now, more than ever

Please save me, dry my tears away, and give me something

…to hope for…

Love,

Anonymous

What a friendship can be

A friendship can be,

anything you see.

Lovely flowers blossoming in the midday sun,

Children laughing and having fun.

What it means to me,

Shall ever be,

a pearl white snowflake,

and a great oak tree.

Your shining light always touches my life,

tearing away the sadness, that should cause all my strife.

Like that painted flower, I love you.

Like that summer breeze, I feel you.

And like that shining star, I see you.

Always one step closer to my heart…

You are like a dream to me,

a dream too sweet a treasure can be.

To you, to me,

because with you, I’ll always know,

What a friendship can be.

an ode to happiness

love o love how do you fair

upon the ice blue

portrait

do you dare

gentle night

and a striking light

a simple sweet essence

which

flies

dove.

can you see me looking through

your

mirror?

I wonder if you… do

and then Iseeastreamofhappiness

that forever

radiates

from you

until you

sing another dreamy song

and bring

back

to sleep.

Into Death

To what would we know,

of where the lilies grow.

Seven stars and a blaze to see,

sweet flowers upon the troubled tree.

To what would we know,

of how death shall go.

An icy nightmare for you to feel,

showing us it is altogether real.

So again I ask, to what would we know,

and all I can say is, just put on the show.

something out of… the ordinary.

I can clearly remember the day it happened. it was a nice warm summer afternoon. the birds chirped and the children were

playing in the streets. our little corner of heaven, we'd always say. it was a long day at work, I had to write up six reports to six

different people, in six different companies. I must say the workload was extra this time around, and I was ready to retire at my

home. when I arrived at home, I was shocked to find my 4 month old son murdered and in the garbage bag. and then I said to

myself, "oops, I must've forgot to take out the trash this morning."

weakness

To where do I run,

when all is but lost.

The shadows have come

to vanquish me at last.

I always said to myself,

never will I be one of them.

Assured I was, I began to preach it to all,

and knew that salvation was at hand.

Too quickly did I remember what I originally had forgot,

what my purpose was.

I was one of the shadows,

and was ordered to have you shot.

Hello Kitty

Good morning Kitty, do you want to play?

I was hoping to see you, to see you today.

Can we play with our cat-and-mouse?

Or make pretend in our own dream house?

Hello Kitty, what do you say?

Aren't you happy to see me, why the dismay?

Smile again because I am here,

cheer up, and wipe away that tear.

Farewell Kitty, for my time has passed.

Life has run out, and death has come fast.

Look up again and remember my sight,

Cause when you smile again, it'll be alright.

Good day, starlight

to where do i fall away from it all, from a shallow grave i ask that you save save me from distress quite happiness that lasts upon

the silverystarrynightsky in your eyes of eyes to realize that another fallen scent to confess no less of your sonic depres sion of

lyrical nonsense and rhy th mic confessions that enlighten me of dreams a flight can raise from a kite until you once again tear

me away from the fate that so l-o-n-g-s to mate with thee to a life no less sweet could a night foretell my desires and sorrows for

you of the blighted future sickly softened by the starlight might easily be confused to sleep upon that sullen oak tree suffering a

surreal nightmare when they share with me their diaries of triumph and I know the moon with its falling: into: you again and you

sing to me a lullaby that is to be.

Friend to the end

You hurt me so much so do why do I lie

to you and me you just take my pain away. Don't you

see that I want to talk to you, and you just push me away until convenience rolls around

so that you can talk to me once again about

past lies

favorite experiences

and loves lost.

You hurt me in more ways than you can imagine, and there are times when I wonder if the dream I dream is just too sweet that I

don't wanna wake up.

I cry out of sorrow because you care not for me anymore. life is just alright isn't it? I wanted to be near you, close to you, talk to

you

for all the days of my life.

and the more I see you, the more my heart bleeds for you.

and the more I wish you were the person that I once loved so much.

what's melancholy?

trees so far,

find comfort in the shade.

blue lake that,

swims so cool along the crystal waters.

look an apple falls,

let us go then you and I and eat this delectable treat.

because in the end,

I kill you, you kill me.

that's the way it's meant to be.

Remembrance

Once upon a time, long ago,

there was a boy who liked someone a lot.

He knew that this girl probably likes someone else already.

But he was determined to chase after her into the depths of hell,

and back.

Slowly,

he walked to her and asked her,

"Hi, how are you today?"

She replied,

"I'm alright, but I'm kinda tired of people like you hitting on me."

The boy distraught,

decided to walk away with his head hung down.

He walked home and wondered what he did wrong.

He delayed going home and took a walk through a park.

Somehow the flowers seemed livelier,

the trees were more graceful,

the sound of the wind more dreamy.

He picked up a flower,

sniffed it,

and realized life is still okay.

He went home walking in happiness,

and the tears dried up.

When he came home,

the phone rang.

He picked it up and a familiar voice was heard,

"I'm sorry about the things I said, can you forgive me?"

There's something about you

Oh Binna, you made me write like a funny bunny and now it's hard for me to write poetry. But I thank you for it. =) This poem's dedicated

to you.

What is it about you that I see?

It's a kinda m-a-g-I-c-a-l feeling,

mysterious in all its wonder…

It draws metoyou,

like a wondrous surprise!

So what's it about you that makes me an insomniac,

Drawing o u t alllllllll the eNerGy,

that leaves me with nothing

left

right

left

right

wrong

reason to love you

There's something about you,

that makes me EcStaTic,

and I want that to last

f o r e v e r.

Icons of Vanity

So who do you think you are

smart? pretty? all the things your little heart desires

Why don't you go find the truth

trash

Think it'll save you from death?

Think it'll make you happier?

Go waste your life

what do I care?

I hate you more than anything in this world

but in the end,

it's you I love the most.

Acrophobia

Look up! Look down!

It's all blurry, I don't want to die

but can I help it when I keep climbing the ladder?

Hold my hand as I fall through the skies,

hold me close as I fight the starry night

into the first break of morning light.

Help! I'm still free falling through the clouds

think you can hold onto me any longer?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Have I died finally?

I haven't… not yet at least…

I'm so glad to be alive.

My first analyzation of death

To what do we know of death,

shallow grave or a penitent stand.

The darkness and the light

a gentle breeze from the depths of hell.

Another lullaby moving through the hills of Scotland.

How sweet is your sound, that saved me.

I'm running through the greener grass and the yellow sun,

from the shadows of the night.

My dreams were as numerous as the sands on the beach

and the stars in the sky.

And from the light, I have seen all the dreams I dreamed are real

were real

forever will be real

You closed my eyes and showed me a revelation

through the blue waters and the red apples I saw again reality

I miss reality, how sweet your taste is. You were so delightful to my eyes,

Promenade with me again and whisper into my ears your mystery.

Let me hold your gentle hand and let forever be.

into the night

into the night i fade

it's not clear to me

it's a haunting apparition

that

shows

the

darkness

dwelling in my soul.

do you feel the black oozing from my elegant hands?

feel it swirling around your body

and into your blue eyes

where is that damn light switch?

and another shadow falls through the room

the quiet clatter of a tree tapping against the wall

and i hold you again, tighter

then i run away

and i hide beneath the grasp of your hands

the door opens

a gust of air rushes in

and you run with me into the field

and you tackle me to the ground

don't you want to be with me?

you know i do.

we lie on the bed of grass, staring into the bright sky

…we draw close to each other…

and the night fades.

Pieces of you

Did you ever feel blue?

because of what i said to you?

Don't be

for what I say is true.

It's a lovely light that you hold

that makes me frown and smile.

And all at once I just want to see it again

and when you leave, a part of me leaves.

To where I don't know

certainly I must see you again.

For every piece of me that fades

I assimilate another part of you.

And everytime we meet, I become a step closer to perfection.

Happysadnightforyou

kinda hard to say what I always want when you keep running after the emotions I felt

back again to the start

and to the end where I run

only tears stream to the fallen angels that once guided my dream

a dream to you of a life less happysadsight

for all the where I searched for I look into your sad driven eyes

and feel again the blue rose the red light and the yellow sun

of a fair night

into your eyes

Rainbows

Rainbows are nice,

and rainbows are sweet.

I love the colors,

and I think they are neat.

But what can compare with you?

not the red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet

Rainbows eventually fade,

but certainly not you.

Oh to earth's song prevail,

but the sweet melody of light,

shall never overcome,

the sound of your heavenly voice.

Where does the time pass by?

I closed my eyes and another day passes.

It’s like snow that falls on to the trees,

and as it melts away,

I laugh wildly.

Isn’t it a silly blue that continues

to haunt me in my days past

another silly red that

makes me jealous of everyone else.

Where does the time pass by?

When all I have ever known,

was an empty darkness,

that strangled the life right out of me.

Act III: Evolution

The second analyzation of the night

Second by second we step closer to the night,

earth to wind, shadow to starlight.

A tangled web we should always weave,

Enlightened minds, which could design dismay.

To the north star, you are far away,

distant like the summers of long past.

To the bright sun, you burn me like a candle,

bringing me closer to the core of hell.

To the seven stars, you blind me by your sweet light,

like the fallen angels sent earthbound.

To the one I call for,

I see you once more through the synergy of time and space,

before saying grace one last time.

Speed

Tree

TreeTreeTreeTree

…

I think I just lost my lunch.

Hyun Jung Kim

Wow, she's so pretty. Wish I could tell her. Wish she liked some nobody like me? I wonder I… no, what am I saying! I haven't a chance in this world. I could fall in love with her, over and over again for an eternity. I knew I loved her, even before I met her. And I keep passing her, thinking about her crystalline eyes, the loveliest smile to die for, and face that will send you to sleep. Day by day, I don't know if I can go on. I know I don't have a chance anymore. It's time to move on with your life. And so again, I bow my head down, kick the rocks, and walk home.

Trevor Lane

Once upon a lovely time,

there was a man named Trevor Lane.

We'd see him walk by and smile.

Such a nice man, he was,

when he'd drive by, we would wave and say hi!

He had it all, nice car, nice house, even a nice church to go to.

The clock struck 12, and we were going back to our jobs,

to our street cleaning, our factories, our jobs that we most hated,

and we heard the strangest news.

Trevor Lane put a bullet in his head.

I made a mistake

Yesterday I played with fire

yesterday I played with rocks

yesterday I wanted a new toy

yesterday I wanted a friend

yesterday I found the world

yesterday I found you.

Today I found grace

today I found love

today I saw the light

today I saw the love

today I drew closer to God

today I drew closer to a girl.

tommorow I want to die.

and time shall pass…

I waited three winters for a disease to pass.

for every dawning sun and shadowing starlight

life grows further from what it used to be.

isn't it beautiful, a vibrant red rose

that encompasses my body.

and time took it away, it thwarted the laughter and the pain

all into a separate peace away from the echoes.

and all shall come to perish before the closing curtains

which I tried to burn down, but failed.

and now what was, and forever will be passes beyond my life

into darkness' shadow for eternity.

starlight 17

she's got my heart, and she's got my mind.

the twilight comes and shows me it's getting better.

I've reached the peak of happiness and I can't let it go.

now the lights burn out, darkness to darkness,

the voices fade and I've hit my journey's end.

she's leaving me, leaving me for the man with a red violin.

there goes 17, and here comes 18.

days pass like lightning, and fading faster…

The Memory of a Song

Stand tall, risk it all, don’t let the enemy break your fall

Interpretations of the night, while enjoying the spring with a kite,

Can separate perfection, from natural selection, intrepidation,

Fragile love lost… at the cost of a lonely heart,

As we move toward the light, ever so bright,

For can it be that beauty’s property is the,

Description of lies, said only by the sweet eyes,

Of the death and destruction,

Of deception and corruption…

No.

The Elimination of Hell

I saw today a colored man,

Strange this was, but I dared not talk.

Scared I was, but I dared not cry.

Silly it was, but I dared not compare.

A sadness swept over the solitude of my eyes.

I eliminated the infinite possibilities and drew upon the conclusion.

A year later she arrived, into my arms.

Perfection was finally attained.

So I shot myself.

Brother

Brother, oh brother where do you lie?

Where do you hide, and breathe your sigh?

Where do you sit and let out your cry?

Can’t you see I’m right here,

Here to wipe away that dreaded tear!

Show yourself now, I know you are near.

Time should not destroy our life.

Cheer up, play your fife,

For I come with good news,

And a knife.

The purple legend

A mystery arose through the dusty ashes.

An unknown figure shaded by the glare of the fire and the backdrop of the night sky.

A purple petal fell from the sky,

It fell upon my dreamy eye.

To my dismay, as I lay,

I saw you still, without a word to say.

He drew the sword from his hilt.

Readied, he shouted his war cry throughout the ends of the earth.

And so I breathed, on and off,

A sigh in between, and then a violent cough.

But sadness struck with a sounding hate,

Because I knew that you weren’t late.

He waved his sword around and around,

He came about, and struck me down in one blow.

And so that day, I died.

Deep Blue Sea

once upon the deep blue sea,

I came to you on bended knee.

diamonds and rubies I brought,

for it was your affection I sought.

I turned away,

wishing I knew what to say.

and just a tear I shed,

because of this pathetic life I lead.

and I dreamed upon the quiet oak tree,

on the eve of that deep blue sea.

anon

I am happy. happy happy happy.

life is good and I can’t stop shining.

I think I’m just pining

for a new world to explore

and exploit

and adore

I am funny. funny funny funny

that guy is so cute and so perfect.

I think I’m just lying

because I’m so attractive

and talented

and desired

I think you should die

because I’ll crush you with my pen

so die or I’ll kill you myself

and be sure to tell the almighty

I’m gonna be his replacement.

There’s always a sad day

What is it about a certain sadness that envelopes my heart.

When I pass down the stairway with my head down,

and I sit on the table crying,

where only a time ago was the place of happiness.

Where did it go wrong?

I pushed aside my things, sat in front of this machine and,

spoke into its magical ability to,

record information.

But still a sadness swept over my eyes as I wrote this.

What did I do?

I got up, went over to the phone and called but,

when she picked up, she said,

words that aren’t human.

and yet all I could do was leave a sigh.

Why am I cursed?

I turned around and gazed into the mirror thinking,

why am I so dreadful and again,

weeping and crying and sighing and then,

I paused, hoping that the phone would ring and,

it didn’t.

This is my life, a dismal and continuous sadness that,

leaves me hanging on a hope.

But somewhere along the line, someone decided to cut,

the lifeline.

The Perfect Eve

Morning shines through the clouds,

and there is the angel.

She plays her instrument,

and lullabies all to arise.

I stand in the distance, wondering,

gazing upon the wings, the eyes, the sun.

Every note, every crescendo, I listen,

I slowly return to sleep.

Now night dawns throughout the town,

and the angel returns.

She once again plays her instrument,

and lullabies all to fall.

Step by step, I move closer to her presence,

but slowly I fall to her sweet melody.

Finally I fall to her siren,

Finally I wander to sleep.

I wake up the next morning,

and she lies besides me.

close to me

i sleep today and tommorow i pray

the passing of just another day

life's array of this and that

has gone astray to old hat

but simple minds lie tonight

we know the silence is not quite right

and jealous tones of simplistic lives

cut through the friendship just like knives

and so arrives the weariness and the spite

binded together by one light

but tonight tonight we celebrate our life

2 years and one not a time apart

cause you still stay, close to my heart.

The Death of November

I died, November 6th, 1991.

The life that had once filled me with joy,

vanished progressively in through my final months.

Death sparked much interest in me,

and so I followed in its tracks.

the conclusion:

Love holds me tight,

like the sun and the light.

Shadows, whispers, voices of theory,

of the good life

mingle with my mind.

I shout injustice to all!

and death to the kind!

And now you invade me,

evade me

persuade to me, that I am not the one.

And now death casts its grip,

life caresses my lip,

and now, I concede,

for I pricked my heart,

and there now, I bleed.

The third analyzation of death

Run me through the perfect sequence / and show me what it means to be happy / and take me to never never land in your nightmare / but don’t let the ghosts eat me alive / and hesitate \ wait don’t / because you wouldn’t want to make a mistake

and

fall

turn those tables around / and let me have your winnings for once \ but don’t let me cash all your chips | after you put the bullet through my head.

Abc

I’m counting the number of ways I hate you

I’m thinking the many times you screwed me over

I’m guessing what pains you had in store for me

I’m wondering the ways you made my life misreable

Sometimes you minimized the pain

sometimes you made me think about my abcs

more often than not, you showed me that I will hate

And here’s the truth

I hate the whole lot of you

I despise you, and your practices

And you are the reason I want to commit suicide.

And I mean every word of it.

a farewell to flowers

an end to the summer, and a dream of the fall

i call, and acknowledge the finite difference

between you and i. don’t return to me

not another word at all

turn and walk away.

i hold not a bouquet of roses,

but one of death.

the first note

a second return, to the dear ethereal light,

I search for the grove of miracles,

and find you.

time once again makes me think,

a return to the darkness?

a second return, to the dear eternal darkness,

I search my grave,

and find you.

time once again reminds me,

of the final note.

I sift through the ashes, and whisper once again into your ear,

that ethereal melody I cherished long ago.

The Third Act

Of all that I hate,

I hate you the most.

Witholding my perfection

terminating completion

eliminating direction

You destroyed me, and again

and again.

Destiny plays the final card unto me

and again,

you play it correctly.

and again,

you deny me.

and again,

I say to you

burn in hell.

Dreaming of you

song by Selena, lyrics by T. Snow and F. Gold : this song never ceases to recur my mind, the days I think of my best friend, I cannot stop wishing she was beside me. I write this before I leave for college as memory to me of how much I love her. my prayer has been that I find the perfect love, and unexpectedly she has entered my life. where ever you are right now, I will always think of you. and where ever you are , I hope you think of me. truly do I love you, and although we were never meant for each other, I…

Late at night when all the world is sleeping

I stay up and think of you

And I wish on a star that somewhere you are

Thinking of me too

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight

Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight

And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be

Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you ever see me

And I wonder if you know I'm there

If you looked in my eyes

Would you see what's inside

Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close

But so far all I have a dreams of you

So I wait for the day

And the courage to say how much I love you

Yes I do!

I'll be dreaming of you tonight

Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight

And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be

Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Corazón

I can't stop dreaming of you

No puedo dejar de pensar en ti

I can't stop dreaming

Cómo te necesito

I can't stop dreaming of you

Mi amor, cómo te extraño

Late at night when all the world is sleeping

I stay up and think of you

And I still can't believe

That you came up to me and said "I love you"

I love you too!

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight

Till tomorrow and for all of my life

And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be

Than here in my room dreaming of you endlessly

Dreaming of you tonight

Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight

And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be

Than here in my room

I'll be dreaming of you tonight

Endlessly

And I'll be holding you tight

Dreaming...with you...tonight!

Act IV: The Four Seasons of Life

Election of a Friend

Sometimes a path,

all worn and beaten,

makes for good travel,

between two key points.

My friend, you know who she is,

appeared to me in several dreams,

as you may have known.

Time has not tested out this friendship,

but I pray that the result is a positive one.

It used to be that I thought of her daily,

then it faded.

But when she returned, I knew then,

that a friendship will last,

forever.

A simple wish

A simple wish is all you ask of me,

and i am here for that.

A little song is what you ask for me to sing,

and i am here for that.

A bit of dancing is what makes you happy again,

and I am here for that.

My love for you, outweighs my own needs, but why?

Because I am here for you.

The Sound of the Light

A shadow whispers to my ear,

"run away with me," I tremble in fear.

I stand up and run,

though that voice is everclear,

the shadow is following,

ever so near.

I close my eyes, and pray to God,

"Send me a vision!" to the voice that is here.

A night I wait, and breathe through a storm,

this foundation is not broken,

for the Lord has spoken,

and I shout,

"shadow be gone! tremble in fear!"

and I wipe away my tear.

Poetry in motion (hyunjung)

i see a star upon the sea

death it seems to be

that troubles me

and so i gaze into the sky

with my eyes

and recite a story of sorrowful sighs

and timely lies

but i retreat into the night

where all is dark

where wrong is right

where light is torn out of sight

and it grew

in through the blue

the love i once lost

i find in you

Lily (to Youna)

A time ago, I asked myself this:

"Where do the lilies grow?"

in through the storm, I traveled,

at the heart of the vortex, this is what happened,

my lily, my lily,

where do you stay?

in sadness and grief,

I fall down and lay.

though anguish and pain,

have struck me dead,

I arise again,

just sleeping in bed.

along came she,

the one that is nice.

now I pledge on bended knee,

my love for her thrice.

and til I fare my final breath,

I hold this flower dear.

and til I cannot see,

death I do not fear.

in heaven I hope to see,

what I have lost on this earth.

to embrace her beauty once again,

will be sweet perfection to me.

The scent of love

once upon this life so dreary,

i cried my heart out all too weary.

i missed my rose,

so fine, so perfect.

her eyes, her smile,

oh so cheery.

love it was, nothing less,

beautiful she is, i must confess.

she holds my hand,

all full of dreams.

of a perfect life,

with her, it seems.

i say this now, before i go,

please stay with me,

until i die,

i kiss your hand, with this i say,

that this will stand, and await i will,

in God's perfect ray.

The Hurricane

In through the seas, I travel in search,

of adventures in time, and journeys abroad.

Sweet blue waters, delight my eyes,

red and gold fish, sweep along the tides.

and therein stays my secret lies,

and therein foretells demise.

for a soul wrapped up,

in hatred and sin,

withering away,

by the rage within.

the darkness falls,

to where the sorrow calls.

the blood spatted down,

by the fiend anon.

and in that forest of death and destuction,

a shadowed light calls by induction.

perfection attained, and humility not lost,

I paid for your life, all with full cost.

in through the storm, we traveled in pair,

alas I saw all the people in despair.

but we hugged, and we smiled, and we helped them along,

all in unison and praising in song.

I remember now what purpose we had,

the tears, the pain, all that was sad,

eliminated by a word,

by dear old Dad.

And in that promise,

I travel into the storm.

68-6A

Under the perfect sky,

I gaze into your eye.

The moonlight dreams of a rose

it's you I know, as I do not lie.

Spend with me, a crystallized eternity.

Of cloudless nights, intrinsical sights,

an intrepid flight, to never never's light.

Hold my hand, as we ascend into the stars,

Take one breath, as we soar past Mars.

And in time,

when the ice recedes,

the spring flowers bloom,

you and I will stand, hands together...

cherishing our love tonight.

affinity

to …, my final poem for you.

carry me away to the darkest night,

lift me up with all your might.

a rain of promise is all you can send me,

raptured in perfection, i hold it so dearly.

and then i let go, i let go of you.

the words are amiss, and now i can't think.

what's my purpose, where's the link?

i'm still falling, and i look up.

i see you wading through the clouds, with another that has taken my place.

another.. another..

through the wayward skies and the wandering daylight,

I walk along the path of apathy

til another day rises along the tides

but now you’re too far from my eyes,

from these lies,

from my silent cries,

this life I save, a lie, no sigh, try, try

to smile

you gave me a bitter illusion, and now I realize

you held me by the strings, forever long

and you snapped them when I wanted to climb up.

falling… falling…

I’m falling through hell,

because you lied.

suicide.

The Living Death

what happens, when a bird loses its wing

what happens, when a lover cannot sing

what happens, when a bee can no longer sting

what happens, when the spider cannot cling

what happens, when my dreams are lost, swept by the tides, tears streaming from my face.

what happens, when the lies end.

what’s in a name.

sometimes i wonder, do you remember my name.

sometimes i wonder, if i'm just all the same.

i'm not him, i'm not that. i'm not the one who rises to fame.

then upon the rainy day, i bow my head down, and wish it all the same.

troubling death, i wish you were mine.

i hate you all, and you the most. you mangled my bones, and shredded my life.

then you mock me, ignore me, and still the same,

you don't remember my name.

winter’s death

sometimes i wonder why i feel cold.

many times i say it's the enemy within.

my summer has turned into shades of red.

my eyes have fallen prey to the blistering sun.

my hands are of no use to me anymore.

now i stand alone, shackled by the shadow.

now i stand alone, where the life flows out of me.

and now i stand alone, winter's death.

perpetuation

return to me, the certain mystery

The shallowed winter continues to perpetuate

Through the dark horse of history,

i see again the mystery that entails,

my futile song...

of what is wrong

wrong...

falling through daylight

swept by the excursions of the good fight

i hold inspite of the concerting fiend

starlight to dawn,

i'm holding on tightly

can it be that i am destined to be

him?

dusk to twilight,

i gasp

and i lie.

entropy

I love life

And i love love

I stretched out my hand and there you were

When i whispered into the darkness

It was your blue eyes that reflected my shadow

It was your name i held under my breath.

And then one day, i forgot it all

your name, your face, your touch,

Everything...

Who was she?

What makes her call my name

Again and again

and i wonder...

through the night

i retook the footsteps of the day

I never looked back

And then i remembered...

I love life

And i love love

I stretched out my hand and there you were

When i whispered into the darkness

It was your brown eyes that reflected my shadow

It was your name i held under my breath.

half asleep

i sat under the pine tree and contemplated. into the sky of stars i gazed in through the night, and saw my dreams written through the dark history. i sat there, and for a moment, i thought i could hear the voice of the angels. i rolled over and realized,

it was the echo of hell.

the dawn

I stayed upon the garden of sleep,

still not knowing the rewards I reap.

I called out into the blackened sky,

All I have ever believed, was a lie.

I held my breath and tried to sleep,

I closed my eyes, but turned to weep.

For a burdened destiny held its hand,

to my head in through the dark sand.

Yet, through the darkness I saw you,

when I felt the life drain from my eyes,

when I thought the end would be my demise,

Your love was ever so true.

And I rose again in through the skies,

I shed the persistent lies,

For this was not my demise,

For Christ came, and He said, Arise.

connections

i'm here to save you from the life you lead for the lies you feed yet i think that the death i read burns the image of war that the plant of life does seed into the mind of the dreamer and the fairy-eyed reaper which carries a sickle of hope into the night that controls destiny which i tried to fight along the tides that burned a hope like marriage of the sea which i came to you on bended knee crying of lies to me yet still i cannot see beyond the purple flowers and the red oak tree away from my life which is ended by this solemn knife.

The Vineyard of War

Here we stay in summer's shore,

passing away with volumes of lore.

Obivious to the life we seek,

oblivious to His life we tore.

There stands the winter light,

waltzing in the mists, my Master's sight.

Echoes of demise boring my soul,

permeating my ears, like wind through the night.

Upon the tree sprouts spring's rose,

captivating the air, like fragrance to my nose.

For as I sleep, I shall not weep,

The door of life will never close.

Again should come autumn's perfect end,

to a year so perfect only death shall mend.

Dare I speak of a love so great?

Alas I cannot,

for I have parted the vineyard of war.

The Enduring Renewal

Et lux en tenebris lucet

How do we control the light?

Is there reason that we should fight?

The light shines in the darkness,

For the darkness shall never control it.

And I travel in through life’s pace,

Following a dream of the light’s face.

Over and over the shadows evade me,

Without purpose they continue to shade me.

From reasnoning’s voice I hold the promise

Of life and of death, the mystery of tyrrany

And of mercy. With tears I draw the sword,

With forged strength I repel the enemy, but

With You I realize

I realize the life given. I cast the sword into

The ground, with strength I subliminate into

The enemy. But with You I know that it is

Not there. The bitter illusion knew.

I knew the face of my father, my brother,

And the love that rose from their lives.

I surrendered the perfect blight,

Traded my pain for the blissful night.

Erasing direction, I ran for the blue skies,

Returning home, I held dear my mother’s demise.

Sadness grew and wailed on end,

For this pain only death shall mend.

Upon Summer’s blossom came the majestic tree,

Perfect and awesome, it appears to me,

Mighty and great, the evil must flee,

Flee into the fiery sea.

To the uncertain future I take your hand,

promenade with thee to the end of age.

Let the present recede with every panicking moment,

and the chaos eliminate the fear of life.

The Fantasy of Fire

Here on end stands tyranny’s cry.

Closer I am, to living that lie.

Living the hope of a perfect life.

The perfect man who knows no strife.

Generations of mystery and still no light,

Persistence of memory yet still tis’ night.

Of you, I care, not but wish you dead,

When all is done, eternity will echo what I said.

Of a time so perfect without you here,

The seconds that pass without you near.

Run away before I strike,

You will fear my sword and all alike.

Tell me now without some grief,

Of tyranny and blasphemy,

Of nether shadows and tears,

Of the life escaping out of my mind,

Of where my love is and the secret we bind,

The challenge you spare me,

I wish you had not,

The certainties that exist there,

I could have caught,

And now my life falls down to the end,

Friendships lost never to mend,

I will close my eyes once more before,

The tears stream down and my heart so sore

---

That no one loves me

No one loves me.

Great is our God,

who stands to save us.

Great is the Lord,

who builds every nation with His hands.

I fear the Lord day to day,

and I cry to Him when I pray.

Not a day runs by that I love Him,

My faith grows stronger, ever less to dim.

From the mountains to the valleys,

great is our God who never fails.

From the east to the west,

great is the Lord

(continued)

innovation through enervation:

ever gazed into the sky, where all is plain.

it's all a pain, you almost feel insane.

it's not fair, when you are just one,

without the other, you are just one.

it's not fun when the party's over,

and you have no home to return to.

there's no sun, when you return to an empty house,

the one you left seven years before.

now you, you stay alone, faceless and unknown by all.

trip and fall, and watch as no one helps you up.

for you are just one,

the nameless one.

the dreamer's secession

why does sadness breathe into me?

why doesn't God let me be?

questions arose for months:

contemplation only channeled my tears into the endless sky:

// and i turned to the darkness

once more i stood in front of time's arrow:

and i whispered;

the depression continued, and continued:

the shadows of evil evaded the apathy:

// and i wanted to die

'and that i did

and there you were, my pitiful dream.

// did i not love you?

you thought you could save me:

i'm still burning in hell.

quiet aspirations parallel my desire of suicide:

// and it doesn't end.

The Dreamer’s Smile

The times we take to live our lives,

fall faster than the piercing knives.

Depriving us of the wonderful night,

breaking once more to fear that light.

But I found you, before the fall,

there I waltzed down the hallowed hall.

I gazed into the tapestries of history,

a wonderment of fantasy and mystery.

a time away from my life…

a time away from dear strife…

Carelessly, I whispered your name,

Hope I thought, futile, and all the same.

In through the eve, I waited your love,

three times I saw you, my dove.

And sadness enrolled in my eyes,

the winter dream shrouded by lies.

I partook your lips and smiled,

even with depression, I knew your beauty not defiled.

and I stand alone with you…

and I stand alone beyond the blue…

For I hold you close, and never will I sleep,

security’s promise with you I always keep,

for with you I know, we’ll always see,

for I know with you, I’ll be happy.

I’m asleep.

There was once a time when I thought love was a perfect smile,

though these days I keep running from its pain.

God knows how much I cry, day by day,

and nobody cares.

And I keep writing these poems,

cause I’m hoping that someone will read my pain.

I don’t doubt its message or its purpose,

but I doubt the author, and his motives.

Someday the people who knew me will say,

I was a fool and that what I went through was silly.

If they only knew what fell behind the lies.

But I’ve been muted by the masses,

who I called friend.

then sadness who wrought its weapon,

is traded to another, who uses it upon me,

and now I wish I were dead.

exile

and as i weep,

times befall the change.

the change of passion to desire,

returning quietly, so i retire.

to the dream of a life i once held,

dearly beyond imagination.

i rendered the sweet melody of suffocation,

to my soul that fears.

forever more i sleep,

to eternity's shallow bell.

for i know not of perfection,

but concord in hell.

deviation

stand with me along faith’s surface,

and let the tears flow forever.

run with me through the sands of emotion,

falling into the sea of eternity,

unknowing liberty,

a tribute to the beginning, and the end,

then I pause for a moment,

and I say leave me alone,

for I need to contemplate the mystery of life.

I sleep under the tree,

that secures me from hope’s denial.

so that another day I may dream,

for a century of despair that choked the fantasy from me,

once more I ask of you,

leave me alone,

and let me contemplate the mystery of death.

asleep

when i'm half asleep,

i sometimes turn to weep.

there's no sadness, that's here to stay,

though tears stream from my eyes,

i do not lie,

of perfection's sight, holding unto me,

one night.

and in the morning i awake,

the sun shines upon my face,

time runs on my own pace,

and i see you next to me,

...my love, and now i know how happiness should be.

Anticipation

I have a simple wish, of life’s lullaby.

To You, I ask, with hope in my eye.

- Perfection is sweet,

- though impossible to hold,

- Nothing compares to thee,

- of which Your life was sold.

- And time draws near,

- to its last call,

- Yet I stand alone,

- fearing its finale I will fall.

- My prayer to You,

- the One on High,

- To send me a companion,

- and make my hope anew.

A simple wish, before death’s final sigh,

To You, I ask, with this cry.

partiality

from a time ago, i have seen sorrow's beginning. as it mistook me for another's eye, it dwelled inside my thoughts. a sphere of death was its offspring, and from its ashes, came a sadness even greater than the jealous embers that kindled it. though i stand tall, i had fallen to the mysteries of vision. a cancerous passion it was, that carried me longer than the flowers i painted, the crystalline sky, and the garden of sleep. dreams of a life foretold, quietly taken by sorrow's weapon, for this one's calamity distressed all who knew him. for he has turned from his magistrate, the only one he has ever loved, and slowly, he realized, his death was living.

a prescription of pain

a distance stands between you

and between I

channeled corruption

pretending perfection

I felt the selection of pain

to stand a century

soon the chime of destiny crumbles

jealousies of thunder quietly rumbles

I held freedom in my hands

there it falls into disharmony

with all nature that commands

the rants and raves

of a small boy

caught in the spotlight

who fought the fairy

thought contrary

of life

consistency loses flavor

with particular race

only to draw near again for your face

secession of the darkness

I am satan’s protégé

stop.

go away.

the inference of a nightngale

though happy and sad,

she stands to be,

apathetic inside,

and then away she will flee.

apart from the rest,

she stands tall with might,

though darkness hides her face,

nobody cares her emittence of light.

and i, alone, stroll day by day,

watching from the distance,

listening to her dismay,

of troubled lives,

wandering wives,

and blunt-edged knives.

and two steps ahead,

one step behind,

i always hold back,

the feelings i did find,

under the moonlight night,

the wonders of her sight,

and her tall appearance...

and as i pass away,

i still failed to say,

that i love you,

love you forever,

and one day.

the last night (4/10/2001)

a night with you is all that can last,

though hours may lag, it runs out so fast.

ever closer to you, I continue this pace,

running to you, seeking your face.

and I see you, through a shallow dream,

like the moonlight and a sunbeam,

forever and ever, I will be with you,

this I know for it is true,

we are together,

my wind and my feather.

I look into the sky,

as we speed across the endless night,

and I see you,

not up there,

next to me.

I hold your hand and hope only reality,

by your side I pray,

that all your sorrow burn away,

with my hand I can say,

until tommorow shall be today,

Jane, I love you,

don’t cry,

stay the course,

and follow me.

my poetry journal’s dedicated to you.

Act V : Closing Curtain

phantom racer

i dream in distances,

do you?

from the start

i traverse through the turns

masking everyone behind me

blanketing the sky with thunder

that matches no

other

faster... f a s t e r . . .

and daylight fades into night

the s t a r s are out

the darkness calls into my [e a r s] . . .

fear the night,

and daylight /returns/

the finish line

ahead

but i stop.

love's emission

what is it that draws me near?

to the one i hold dear?

may it be the star or the sun?

what will it be when i am done?

faster and faster i grow closer to love's core.

at every avenue i find more to adore.

and happiness, dear happiness, i want you now.

strike the weather and all disturbed,

ever discourse and shadows alike.

for every doubt, let it fade into darkness,

for every mystery, let it turn its sly face away,

and for everyone who should not create fear,

let it be known :

the sun above and the earth below,

i know what holds me close,

as green as the fields, and blue are the skies,

i will soar above the mired lies.

and when all should fall to an end,

i shall be standing alone, with you,

a flower in hand,

and a love that is true.

…and this is how I feel…

sometimes I wonder where I should fall

sometimes I wonder if all the roads lead there

sometimes I wonder when the sky turns dark

and there is my happiness

and there is my beginning

and there is my end

when all the world passes away

when all the earth should crumble

when all the people turn away from me

i hold onto a dream that is you

of the evening star and the haloed moon

i hear you whispering to me

a final farewell

for a second, i saw the sun,

but only for a second.

reality

starlight, star bright,

first star i see tonight

i wish i may, i wish i might,

see my love with me tonight.

tears and anguish is all i give

sadness and pain is what i live

time draws to an end,

and the tears never stop,

and i pray that we stand together,

and i open my eyes.

an empty room, and a broken heart,

is what i come home to, tonight.

precipitation

sadness does not dwell in all of us. the general population, although, feels it at least once in their lifetime, does not continuously thrive in it. down the streets of the spring, i stroll, with every step taking a sigh. the trees willow, an echo of the tears that evade me... trapped, inside nature's conspiracy, i continue my path, without certain destiny, confined in the penitentiary, of perplexity and despair. until i can walk no more.

happiness

I wish my love was here with me

but quarrels stand a mile apart

fears flow down the empty stream

but she does not know I’m sad, it seems

yet she does not care, and life unaware

of jealousy and concern

inability to discern

and then, one day, she left me well

on my knees I quietly fell

only to breathe one last tear

for God took away my fear

into His loving arms,

and there, upon the calm of the storm

I say good bye

and there now, I weepingly die.

seasons of loneliness

ponder with me, a thought of the spring

where brightness and love is close to everything.

here and there, and everywhere,

couples prancing and romancing.

ponder with me, a vision of summer,

hot and misty, the sun in your eyes,

the love you need, thus don't take heed.

follow me, to autumn's wind,

where blue skies reign, and the colors are bold. vibrant. where beauty stands tall, but not as tall as her.

and there we follow myself to winter's darkness.

where life runs to nowhere, and i too, stare, at the emptiness inside of me.

no sea, no sky, no wings, to fly.

and i sleep, under the shadow of the trees. alone, and in tears.

To those I think of

to jane : a second may pass before next we meet, but a lifetime shall pass before i say farewell.

to jenny : let time and tide sweep away the darkness in your life, call upon His name and you shall find solace.

to lolo : though a fire starts with a spark, it can envelope an entire forest. burn with passion, and control with love.

to brad : destiny only inflicts its pain if you fear it. one day, the light will guide you, and all fear shall dissipate.

to yeonkyung : a leader knows its purpose. a leader knows its goals. but a leader leads people, and so we shall wait.

to joe : through our sovereign Lord, all things are possible. let the weak say he is strong, and let the blind find his vision, through our God alone.

to youna : from the beginning you were there, and til the end you will be there.

Jane

you said you loved me, and this is true,

with this half-torn heart, i give to you.

when i wish for life to begin,

the sun sets upon the land i stand in.

but turning and burning, i know not to run,

i know not to repeatedly shun,

away your love for me,

away the problems that you and i must flee,

away the future that i forsee,

til darkness turns to light,

til tommorow becomes tonight,

i love you, this is true,

my heart, shall forever, belong to you.

Timepiece

I look upon the midnight sun,

To find my love’s perilous run.

To act, react, and temper the light,

Unmatched by great Jupiter’s might.

Time will fade,

As clouds adhere,

To simplify this notion,

Tis’ the sum of all fear.

Yet I shall not run,

I shall not hide,

I shall not scream,

As I fall into the tide.

Being swept of change,

Unraveled by sense,

Swallowed alive.. by violence,

Losing my only defense.

Though my soul will cry,

And my body shall wither,

I will not water down,

As that hour draws near.

Sleep

I wish I could sleep

And not have to cry

Not have to worry

Will I have to try

Try to be here

Not to go there

My love that is near

Yet staring without care

And I keep waking with every step that I take

With every moment I wake

To fall back asleep

To try not to weep

Of the pain that I keep

Knowing the struggles I shall reap

Look forward

Not back

Stand tall and risk

Nothing

But this is silly,

For I am asleep

I stand now to weep

Toward the future so sharp

So clear and precise

That it passes right through me

But now I shall not sleep

For I will be awake.

Archipelago

i've lost the meaning of togetherness today.

to think that fellowship had meant go play.

and unity is one that i don't belong.

as another i attend, with you, it is wrong.

and alone i return to the homeland tonight.

in the darkness and the cold, i begin to lose my might.

lose my conscious, and my sight of the work that must be done, all because of the depression of your silly little fun.

and tear by tear my life wastes away, causing me much distress, and terrible dismay.

drop by drop, the life drains out of me, for this is my fate, and i know what is to be.

Homesick

i cannot say when last i cared,

if you said hello, or goodbye.

i cannot say when last i shared,

a dream, a nightmare, or a lie.

i returned from the battlefield,

deaf and broken.

another day living in this infamy,

is living another day far from the enemy.

but another day in your arms,

i find hope, i find light.

away from the sadness in the rhine farms,

from the burning shells that lit up the night.

and now i stand before you,

a rose that i give unto you,

and i walk away from the life i lived,

and the dreams that i have gived,

to rest eternally beside you.

Ode to home

I wish I knew what friendship was,

To sit and listen to others talk,

And ramble on the hours past,

Of poignant jokes and puns that last.

Alas I sit, here so alone,

Feeling apart from the people that I know,

But closer to the knife I call home.

And to complain about my dreary days,

Of nothing here, or nothing there,

Except maybe, I lack a bear.

I sit here with the lack of tears,

Wishing that I would die from all my fears,

To know once more that I am man,

With never knowing what I can,

Should, or would do,

With another in company holding my hand,

But that’s a dream,

One left for the masses, who fit, who belong,

Who don’t complain,

What is right and what is true,

For they have friends,

And I wish,

I did too.

An address

There is a time in one’s life when the passing of a being has entered into reality. A submission to the misfortune that has fallen upon them must now be met with equal determination and perseverance. Carrying one’s dreams beyond the surface of speculation and doubt is not an easy task of any age, but with vigor and focus shall the fate of catastrophe be resolved. To my dear friend, who has lost a mentor, his spirit shall live on, with an endearing memory in our hearts and our minds. He has now finished the race with his head held high, and with his chest raised to the heavens, beyond the tears of the flowers, the earth who bellowed at his might, and the horizon who smiled upon his grace. Time will adhere to our own desires, and once again, we shall return to our native origin, where we shall find ourselves alongside our mentor and friend.

cadence

There is no synergy in this happiness,

No tears, maniacal chance, simple tenderness, implicit dictation,

I’m holding my breath hoping the next moment won’t exist,

Cause I can’t seem to find a new game

Another hope for fame

Sending my felt tipped body down in shame

It feels all the same

I’m losing my name

Losing my hope

Falling off the rope

Can’t seem to cope

With loss, vanity, no confidence,

Nuisance

I think I see my reflection in the water,

I think I’m ugly.

I know I am.